Marvelous Marvel

Growing up I loved comic books and the whole aspect of superheroes. Watching the Batman show starring Adam West was how this love began. I was drawn to Batman because he was human, no worldly powers, just a vigilante saving lives. Then I came upon the world of Marvel.

X-Men (Storm is my favorite), Hulk, Thor, Black Panther, Fantastic Four, Spiderman, Dr. Strange, The Avengers, Captain America and of course Iron Man.

These superheroes were more than just awesome characters in a storyline or sparks of creativity and imagination, I found a sense of confidence within their heroism.

Those comic books, those characters, those movies were and still are an escape for me. And yes, sparks of creativity still pop. Stan Lee is a legend, a genius who had an invincible reputation. It’s crazy to know that he has passed away. I think that we place our heroes on a pedestal of immortality, it’s only when a tragedy such as death do we realize that they too are human.

Words escaped my mind this morning when I had saw online that Mr. Lee had passed. He will be greatly missed, especially his infamous cameos.

“Are you..Tony Stank?” 😂

Thank you Stan Lee for creating a world that will live on eternally.

*Said in Tony Stark mannerism* I am Derra Nicole 😉

You were one of those classic ones traveling around the sun… -Twenty One Pilots

10 Years Ago

The piece below was something I messed around with years ago. Inspiration came from a band who I am forever hooked to.

**To those who posses creative eyes, who see the world in charcoal black and champaign white. Those who spiral in shades of pillow talk pink and passion punch orange. The ones who know that the stars aren’t something you can just switch on and off,
they glow one night and burn out the next, but when they shine it’s Cosmic heaven…

To those who are the secret angels who wake up every morning on purpose, for they are the undercover gaurdians who carry the burden of putting the broken world right. They fight the “normal” arch enemies in their land of Labelism. Where light sabers slash the decieving characature revealing it’s true identity. A six letter word in a dictionary…

To those who are the day one members of the overcast club, who protect their hearts with their blue umbrellas on even the sunniest of days. The ones who know that their black clouded storms cannot exceed outside their four security blanketed walls, for one step outside their front door, enforces all defenses making them become ultimate ironmen…

To those who live in a world where masquerade balls are fashioned more than friday night parties,
To those who live in this world, not because they have to, but because at the moment it’s the one that makes them appear more intriging and less “different”…**

Waves

A moment or two is what this soul of mine needs…

A helpful hint is what my mind searches for…

A dose of guidance is what my heart prays for…

The day has switched places with the night and the sun has sunken into the glowing atmosphere.

Hoodie on..crisp breeze kissing the goosebumps on my neck..the warm sands cooling down…

Eyes closed..deep breath..and listen…

Dear waves, help me out here. I need advice, I can’t shake this feeling let alone understand why this feeling ever came into existence. I’ve exhausted every idea as to how to let this feeling go, every lightbulb has burnt out trying to ignore this. A feeling that is unknown territory for my heart and mind. So, I ask waves…what do I do?

I just need a moment or two.

The softest echo could be enough for me to make it through… -Twenty One Pilots

Yeah, Pretty Much…

World: “So Derra, how’ve you been?”

Me: “Hey World. I’m doin’ pretty good. You?”

World: “I’m good, but seriously how are you? I sense that your mind is off a bit.”

Me: “Nah, I’m good. Yeah, sure I’m a bit off my game, but I’ve got it handled.”

World: “C’mon chica, lay it on me. Vent out that undo stress.”

Me: “Yeah…nah, I’m good. Besides trust me, you don’t want to know. ”

World: “C’mon, I sincerely want to know.”

Me: “Are you sure…?”

World: “Yes…my ears are yours.”

Me: “Ok, well I am now working with a new publisher. She seems very nice and knowledgeable, yet I’m still apprehensive because of the experience with my previous publisher. My next manuscript is nearly perfect while the fictional story I’m writing is stressing me out a bit. Which yes, I am stress eating (thank God for a freakishly high metabolism). My siblings are currently being punks and I swear I would remove myself as the oldest if I could. You have implanted these thoughts of a handsome human in my mind that I won’t ever be with, my heart is feeling a feeling I’m unfamiliar with and why you won’t allow me to let this go is frustrating. Plus, my birthday is Friday! I hate my birthday! So, there you go.”

World: “Damn…I wasn’t ready for all that. I mean…”

Me: “I warned you. I told you to not ask me that.”

World: “Anything I can do to help?”

Me: “You really want to help…go scoop a couple scoops of ice cream in those bowls while I pull out the pumpkin spice Palmiers out of the oven.”

World: “Oooo, did you make those? They smell delicious.”

Me: “Yep, I did. Baking is calming to me.”

World: “Holy shit! That is bomb!”

Me: “Thanks. Now, excuse me while I tune out everything and watch the finale of the Halloween Baking Championship. Good talk though.”

I hope the roof flies off and I get blown out into space, I always make such expensive mistakes, I know it’s just a number but you’re the eighth wonder, I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color… -Fall Out Boy

Uninspired Walking Billboard

I’ve been trying to write this blog for a few days now. Thoughts were jotted down then frustratingly crossed out. The last week of October is EB Awareness week. Seven days where factual posts and personal stories are trending with the attached hashtags. In the past years I have posted blogs(such as I’m Only Human) and videos, I’ve shared medical facts/ statistics along with my personal story.

However, this year I am at a loss as what to write about. The feeling of repetition is screwing with my thoughts. In a sense, I feel as though I am obligated to represent, obligated to post and share. This obligation is somewhat stressful these days, it has taken over who I am. This weight is suffocating…

Yes, I have EB, but it is a low level of intensity and only one part of my life. EB isn’t the defining definition of what my life is or who I am. EB doesn’t own me, yet this life of living as a walking billboard has sucked up any existing inspiration.

Being that billboard is a heavy weight to carry, that obligation extends out to not wanting to let others down by not posting awareness themed posts like the Mad Hatter. See, I don’t want to let anyone down, but if I were to post just to post then that uninspired disconnect would glow vividly within my words. This equation is crushing my internal world.

I’m so sorry that the content of this blog isn’t what you expected or want.

I’m tired of tending to this fire, I’ve used up all I’ve collected, I have singed my hands… -Twenty One Pilots

In Between

Below is just a little something I like to do when my mind is racing and I can’t seem to organize my thoughts…

Take me back to when we danced like UMA THERMAN on a SATURDAY and we reminisced about our EXPENSIVE MISTAKES. Back to when we wondered WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIGHT?. To when we were THE LAST OF THE REAL ONES, to when we were YOUNG AND MENACE. Because SUGAR, WE’RE GOIN’ DOWN, but I DON’T CARE, as long as you HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T. 💋

Until then…

Let’s go back to the #ERS days. Let’s take a RIDE and visit THE JUDGE to see if the verdict is in. Are we a GONER or is there still time to journey back to our HOMETOWN and reignite our DOUBT. The MESSAGE MAN is singing about tomorrow, but NOT TODAY. Because today there’s a TEAR IN MY HEART and I’m STRESSED OUT. So stay in your LANE BOY and take care of your HEAVYDIRTYSOUL because the world will POLARIZE your mind. Let’s go back to the streets where we’re FAIRLY LOCAL and remember that WE DON’T BELIEVE WHAT’S ON TV. Yes, let’s go back to ERS. Honestly though, I’ll always be HOLDING ON TO YOU Vessel because you calmed the MIGRAINE that resided behind the SCREEN of my chest. 🖤