It’s been quite some time since we’ve just had a simple cup of coffee whole catching up on each other’s lives. The minutes tick away so quickly these days that it’s almost a crime to blink. It’s been almost 13 years since you’ve passed and even though my angry tears have lightened there are moments when I wish you were here. I know that you’re in a much better place and no longer sick, but I do indeed miss having a cup of coffee and conversations with you…
If we were having a cup of coffee, I’d tell you about how exciting it’s been working on my first major book. I had been submitting my manuscript to every publisher I could find online for about 8 months. Opening up the infamous, “Thanks, but no thanks” e-mails or simply not hearing back from publishers at all was becoming more and more defeating. Even though I took that rejection and used it towards working harder on the outside, discouragement was growing more and more on the inside. Thoughts that I wasn’t good enough kept sneaking into the middle of my mind.
Persistence, I guess, does indeed pay off. Last year, a week before Christmas, I had received a package via snail mail that consisted of contracts and a letter that stated, “we thoroughly enjoyed your work and feel that it deserves to be on the shelves in bookstores everywhere…”. Best Christmas gift ever, even better than all of the gaming systems and Gameboys.
If we were having a cup of coffee, I’d let you know that I have learned the meaning of love, well, at least what love doesn’t mean. I no longer go out with just any guy so that I’m not alone. My last relationship taught me that two can definitely be much lonelier than one. I have also learned that love doesn’t lie, cheat nor hurt the heart, humans do. Love is the purest form of actual magic and should be honored and protected as such. Trust and being an open person are hard for me, however, you once told me that the signs will place themselves right in front of my face when the right guy comes along. So, as impatient as I may feel some days, I know that the wait will definitely worth it.
If we were having a cup of coffee, I’d reminisce down memory lane with you. Afternoons gardening in the front yard or holidays helping you make your infamous bourbon sausages. Trips to the “hardware” store aka Baskin Robins and many a trip to the movies. Oh, and that dollhouse, how I loved that dollhouse that you built me as an early Christmas gift.
If we were having a cup of coffee, I’d tell you that my health has never been better, in fact it’s pretty spectacular. I haven’t felt this good physically or mentally since I was ten years old. There were a few scares and a couple of times that the Grim Reaper and I almost shook hands, but for whatever reason there seems to be a greater force keeping me breathing. I’m not sure for what or why, but I’m assuming that I’ll figure it out when I’m supposed to.
If we were having a cup of coffee, I’d tell you that I still carry on the tradition of making those delicious bourbon sausages every Thanksgiving and Christmas. I think of you every time I have a butter pecan shake. I always root for your Philadelphia Eagles when they’re playing, and I wear your Navy dog tag on a chain around my neck every time I leave the house. I make trips to the beach and stop at In-N-Out afterwards. And I still and will forever enjoy a good cup of coffee.
“You were one of those classic ones travelin’ around the sun…” – Twenty-One Pilots