Nights like this are the best…the breeze is cool and the atmosphere is so quiet that even the tiniest cricket miles away can be heard. It’s the kinda night that calls for a hoodie, a notebook equipped with a pen, headphones injecting inspiring lyrics of pain mixed with triumph and of course an iced coffee.
The perfect scene to get these uninspired thoughts reignited.
No matter how gnarly the storms that have shaken my life, I have never quit. Even in the moments where my bones had smashed, my heart shattered or I had found myself sitting on the brink ready to end it all, something in this universe keeps saving me. Something out there for some reason won’t allow me to quit.
These storms have ranged from small showers to drowning category 5 waves crashed. Some storms left behind simple lessons while some left major lessons attached with a scarred trophy. Battle scars that remind my mind that I’m tougher than I think. Battle scars that remind my heart to keep believing. And battle scars that remind me of the past, that if I was able to survive all of those past storms then I can survive anything.
I’ve tried…believe me, I have tried…but, I can’t quit…
I’ve tried killing my dream of becoming a writer, but I’m addicted to the challenges it brings…I can’t quit.
I’ve tried killing my dream of one day finding love, but then I go and get a permanent reminder to never lose hope embedded on my back…I can’t quit.
I’ve tried killing my dream of one day being a mom, but then I see a mom shopping with her baby at the store and my mind begins to dream all over again…I can’t quit.
There are days where I just want to scream and cry simultaneously and throw in the towel, but then those 5 minutes are up, the shower turns off and life pulls me back in. Which I allow because it turns out that I’m also addicted to life…I can’t quit.
I’m ok with not being able to quit, there are times when its frustrating as hell, but completely worth it.
I do, however, wish that I could quit one thing…I wish the universe would allow me to quit you (not for the reasons you assume though)… This storm rages on…
Tonight though, I’ll push this all aside. Tonight I’ll just simply be in the moment…music, coffee and this night sky.
I’m running out of time, I need a doctor, call me a doctor, to bring me back to life… -Dr. Dre