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Main Fear

The other day I read a quote that stated to write about what it is you fear most…

I think this is why I have tendencies to write about love as I’m lying wide awake at 2am…

Love, my mind doesn’t fear it for what it is, the fear lies within compartmentalized aspects…

Part of me fears the thought of “the jump”. Once you’ve jumped, hoping and trusting that the human on the other side will catch you, only to crash and burn, implants a sense of future distrust…

Part of me fears that the, what should be an honest commitment, will inevitably toxify into a dishonest cheat…

Part of me fears that what should be a loving, protective and respectful relationship will only break from tempered poison…

All of this equals the main fear of having the rug pulled from under my feet and losing another piece of my heart…

All of this creates a fear that these embedded scarred fears will cause my heart to miss out on a chance of genuine love…

These are the 2am thoughts that keep me up all night…

This is the one fear that I fear most…

Even when I doubt you…I’m no good without you… -Twenty One Pilots

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