blog, blogger, blogging, happiness, life, love, relationships, Uncategorized, writer, writing

Ride or Die kinda Love

Yes, the title of this curated thought is Fast & Furious inspired (I love those movies) however this is also inspired by a comment I recently read in a blog. The topic, love. The question at hand: what kind of love are you looking for? The response that I read to this infamous question was simple and one that had been dreamt of by every little girl, and possibly little boys. A fairytale kind of love, the whole sweep me of my feet and live happy ever after.

Now don’t get me wrong, I would love to be swept up by a sweet guy and have a happy ever after, who wouldn’t. Everyone wants to be swept up at least once in their life. But, in reality every relationship has its storms. Love isn’t all rainbows and unicorn sparkles, there’s going to be times when thunder storms move in… possible lightening once in a while.

Personally, I want that ride or die kinda love. That kinda love that is made up of trust and loyalty molecules. The kinda love where you’re there for each other, in any and every type of situation. The kinda love where you battle the storms together, coming out mutually stronger. The kinda love that picks up one another’s slack in moments of stress or sadness. The kinda love that can withstand times of disagreements or shouting in frustration, where these moments are vented, settled and apologised over rather than sweeping issues under the rug while faking a Stepford Wives type of life.

That ride or die kinda love where you’re so in love with your partner that you allow yourself to be vulnerable, walls burnt to the ground, don’t feel the need to hide your true self. The kinda love where you learn everything about one another, where you go watch him shoot hoops with his friends and he goes with you to see that new chick flick that just came out. That kinda love where you sleep in on a Sunday morning, cuddling in bed, just spending the day together or having a picnic at the beach, soaking in the sun. That kinda love where you have family Bbq’s on Saturday afternoons and battle it out with family game night, guys vs girls, lol.

That kinda love where you don’t feel the need to be dishonest, where you never feel judged or belittled. That kinda love where even a shitty day ends in a silver lining because the second you walked through the door your love comes at you with a giant “wrap their arms around your neck” hug, instantly melting the day away.

That kinda love where time and distance are not factors, no matter where we reside, we find each other.

It feels like the moon is spinnin’ off into outer space without you, this world is such a lonely place without you… -Blink 182

Shit happens in life and in love, the true test is whether you ride the shit storms together or bail. I believe that with every conquered storm love drives its roots down deeper becoming stronger, even indestructible.

Too many nights during the 3am hour I’ve questioned why I haven’t found my forever love yet. Will I ever find him? Countless hours of sleep have been stolen by these questions, then a few months back a friend sent me a link to an article with a message attached, “I thought of you when I read this. Check it out!” via snapchat. The article was entitled, Why Old Souls Have a Hard Time Finding Love. Needless to say I have an old soul according to that article and it did bring my mind a piece of resolved comfort. No longer do I believe that I am not worthy of a honest, respectful true love. My mind was brainwashed into believing that the broken girl doesn’t deserve a happy ending, that I should feel lucky with whomever looked my way, whether he was a good guy or not, just be thankful. Well, that “just be thankful” bullshit had landed me tumbling down the jerk rabbit hole one too many times. I’m so done with being a human doormat.

I know the kind of human being I am… Yes, I was born into the “freak” life, but I’ve got a scarred golden heart, a sweet and caring personality, loyalty infused bones, a glowing immortal soul and an adorable face. I am perfectly imperfectly. I screw up sometimes, it happens, but I always take responsibility and apologize. I learn from my mistakes.

I now know my worth and no longer will my worth be diminished for a ‘just be thankful’ relationship. My ducks are in a row baby!! Well, most days 😉

You ride, I’ll ride… You die, I die… Love, Family, Loyalty.

Yeah, that’s the kinda love I want.

When everything’s made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am… -Goo Goo Dolls

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