We’re Broken People… -TOP

Photo box.. I have a photo box filled a few nick-nacks (i.e. i.d. bracelet worn as a kid, my 5th generation U2 ipod and a guardian angel necklace given to me by my great Aunt) and a grip of photos of my past. A true time capsule containing the best times and the worst times. These framed memories have me losing myself down memory lane. Reminiscing holidays, birthday parties, graduations, surgeries, school events and daily insanity. Every moment captured in these hand held capsules. A happy grin has slipped onto my face along with spouts of laughter. Between my siblings and I, we we’re all adorable chaos instigators. Truly never a dull moment at the Sabo house.

I heard that pictures don’t change, just the people inside of ’em do… -NF

Mixed into this beautiful stack of frozen photos, these frozen waves, are captured moments were my smile seems genuine, but is actually just a frustrated frown turned upside down. My teenage self was a bullied soul who was losing her way. Looking at my younger image I can see it now. I can see how fast I was slipping. I can now see the pain hidden behind that fake smile, the retracted tears hidden deep in those hazel eyes and the fresh bleeding wounds pre scarring stage within that beautiful mind. I can see every suicidal crack.

Looking at these frozen photos has rippled a few tears down my cheeks. These tears are no longer painful or regretful, but joyful in a sense. These few tears are tiny drops of inspiration. Looking back then and now looking at my present reflection in the mirror causes one single thought to swirl through my scarred cerebral… “Damn, I survived. I’m still here.”

I am passing along a Double Dare to all of you… No matter what you’ve gone through, take the simple fact that you’re still here as a huge accomplishment. No matter what you may currently be going through, know this, you will survive. You will push through the dark and find that light at the end of the tunnel. You have an unknown strength that will keep you going. Never give up. We all have a purpose and it’s never too late to find it and make it a reality. This thing we call life isn’t easy, by any means. But, it’s so worth living every minute of it, even those gnawing bad minutes. Our past makes us strong for our future.

One night and one more time, thanks for the memories even they weren’t so great… -FOB