3 years… 

3 years since we’ve seen one another, 3 year since we’ve spoken to one another.

I think about you from time to time, reminiscing down memory lane. As I sit here writing a few new pieces Ghost of You begins to play on Spotify, you make an appearance in my head.

Mere kids when we met and mere minutes before we were best friends. You were the first boy to treat me like a person instead of a misfit. We’d hang out at each others houses, talk about anything & everything while listening to music. We’d go to the movies, get our grub on at Panda Express or In-n-Out and spend way too much time in Barnes & Nobles. 

We came from two different worlds yet ended up drowning in the same darkness. Life tore us apart and beat the shit out of us, opposite situations but the same blade that cut both of us. Your past became engraved on your wrists, mine on my neck, yet somehow we made it through.

The night at the carnival…the night chillin’ in my backyard…deep conversations at midnight over ice cold Bud Light Limes. No judgment was ever handed out, we were each others *person*. You knew things about me that no one else kne(o)w(s) and visa versa. We were each others vaults. 

You always protected me, had my back and made me feel like I actually belonged in this world, that I had a place here. You were my person.

You once told me that I was going to meet the love of my life, that I’d find true happiness. I didn’t believe you. You told me that you’d be happy yet sad for that day and when I enquired as to why you simply said, “because I’ll no longer be your person, he will.”

The day we said goodbye to each other hurt like hell, still does. But, I hated that your girlfriend put you in the position of choosing, her or your best friend. I know you tried to maintain the peace with her, but it became impossible and seeing the frustration on your face broke my heart. So I did what needed to be done, what you refused to do. You loved her and your happiness was everything to me, so I said goodbye. Hardest trigger I’ve ever had to pull, worst pain I’ve ever felt. 

You were going to be my *man oh honor* at my wedding, I was going to be your *best man* at yours. 

I don’t know where you are or what you’re doing, but I hope you’re beyond happy and now have the love and life that you deserve. 

Happy Birthday Shadow 💜 

Love, Skittles

“I saw your ghost tonight, the moment felt so real. If your eyes stay locked on mine, my wings might start to heal.” -Blink 182

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