I find myself imagining what life would be like with you, like Curious George I am fascinated by these glowing bulbs. These luminous thoughts have grasped my attention.
During the slumber induced dreams, flashes from the first time we meet to the first time “I love you” is spoken. From our first date and our first kiss. From the first time we meet each others families to the day we both say “I Do”. From our first baby (I hope our kids look like you) to our first grandbaby. I imagine it all. I’ve even imagined our first fight, don’t ask me why.
I picture us spending the day with friends at the beach, Sunday night dinners with the family and Saturday night staying in, cuddled up together on the couch watching a movie. Sunday morning pancakes to friday night pizza.
I imagine what our song would be and that no matter where we were, we’d dance to it when it played on the radio. I imagine all of the things I’d learn about you, your past to present and every future dream you have. Even the things that scare you.
I’d protect all of your dreams and insecurities. I promise that my love and loyalty would never be things that you’d ever have to question. I’ll always listen to your thoughts, share my advice if wanted and sit with you in the silence when words aren’t wanted. Through all of the smiles and all of the tears, all of the good and any darkness, I will always be there.
I think about it all…
What’s your favorite movie…book…food…ice cream flavor?
Who’s your favorite band…song?
What makes your heart beat?
Imagining and wondering it all.
I wonder what you look like, what your voice sounds like.
I know that you’re way out of my league, but I promise you that I’m worth it. I know that I have a disability, but that won’t ever be something you have to worry about. I am as independent as they come, I’m a chick who has her shit handled. I’d never be a burden to you, and if the worst ever came, plans have already been set.
I also think about the fact that once my walls are down you’ll then see the thunderstorm that lives within my mind. Every broken piece, every dark memory, every scar…it will all be exposed and that scares the shit out of me. I wonder if you’d stay once you saw everything.
Sometimes you gotta bleed to know that you’re alive and have a soul, but it takes someone to come around to show you how…” TØP