Counting Sleepless Stars

It’s 2:05 am and I am wide awake. This brain of mine won’t allow any zzzzzz’s to be caught. These heavy lids want so desperately to hide my bloodshot eyes. 

All I want is one night of uninterrupted sleep. No nightmares…no dreams…no relentless distractions… Just a few solid hours of much needed sleep.

Too many nights have fast forwarded to neon sunrises. Too many daylight moments stolen by your sweet image. A simple song heard or a future thought written onto paper and poof, your image makes an appearance in my head.

Am I going crazy? I mean, I figured it’d happen one day, just not this soon. 

I know that I could dissolve all of this insanity with one simple, yet not so simple, action. This past demon of mine, however, has planted a fearful seed in the center cortex of my mind. All confidence required for this particular mission has been frozen into a state of anxiety.

I am at a crossroad, staring at the fork trying to decipher this unbreakable feeling in my gut that’s causing this pain in my chest. 

Perhaps it’s time to initiate a self-destruct sequence. Or, maybe I’ll just hold onto all of this beautiful insanity a little longer while I count the sleepless stars burning brightly in the midnight sky.

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