Time.. you are the ultimate master murderer. Infamous skills of speeding time form zero to sixty in one slight move and then flipping the tables in making minutes stand still, frozen in a torturous state. You taunt us with the promise of making wounds fade, you keep us under your spell in thinking that our time is endless and what we don’t accomplish today can be marked off our lists tomorrow, as though another 24 hours is guaranteed.
From the starting gate I, unlike most others, knew that my time was strictly limited. I knew that before long you would tick my last tock, that the Grim Reaper and I would carpool to the afterlife party, singing The Judge as the memories of my now past life flash by. Because of certain circumstances I assumed I’d be a goner by now, in fact I assumed I would have kissed this life goodbye a long time ago. Shit, at this point I should have died 3 times over. Over the last 32 years you and I have done this twisted dance and you continually leave me insanely confused as to why I remain breathing.
Constantly asking “Why?”, why do you cause my days to speed by in a blink yet create my sleepless nights to last forever? Why are the memories of my past demons somewhat faded yet some of my scars seem as though they’re freshly cut? Why are you still teasing my mind with the invitation of eternal peace and why haven’t you made my heart beat its last beat?
I believe with every fiber of my mortalized being that everything happens for a reason, however, I find myself struggling with not knowing the answers to all of these mysterious why’s. Now before you allow your mind to ponder any darkened thoughts, no this isn’t me saying that I want to die or that I am opening the book of my past history in wanting to repeat a certain era of my life. This is just a sample of where my mind goes during the long hours of those everlasting nights. Many a conversation are had with the man on the moon and many a wish are attached to every flickering star.
So while I continue to search for much needed A’s to these lingering Q’s, you and I will continue our twisted dance. You will continue to slowly murder me and I will continue to slowly become a goner. Cheers…
Where we’re from there’s no sun, our hometown’s in the dark…. where we’re from we’re no one, our hometown’s in the dark… – T.O.P.