“Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” -Maya Angelou
Ok, so I hope that this blog doesn’t come off sounding like a pity party, that’s the last thing I want. Life is hard, all the way around. As exhilarating and breathtaking as it is, there are times when darkness and shit storms hit. My life, for a period of time, was a constant thunderous shit storm (at least it seemed as though it was). 14 years of being mentally, emotionally and even physically thrown around and pulled under monstrous waves is exhausting. Day in and day out my main goal was to simply keep my head above water and hope that my legs didn’t lock from constantly treading.
Losing one’s self and feeling like a worthless human, questioning existence, is a place I wish no one ever enter, not even my worst enemy.
These days I keep my dark place under lock and key. Anytime life winds the pitch, taunting me with the countdown before that infamous curveball is thrown I sink into my headphones and soak in that lyrical morphine. Music has always been and will always be more than just something that I can “shake what my mama gave me” to, it’s my escape, it’s the place where I can vanish into and figure out my next moves so that I can hit that curveball out of the ballpark instead of getting slammed by it. On my phone you’ll find the Spotify app and on that app you’ll find several playlists. Each playlist is curated with bands and songs that aid in whatever mood or situation I’m currently in.
From punk/ pop/ alternative rock to hip hop/ rap… from screamer tunes to blue love songs… from heartache to heartbreak to numbed pain… from head swaying to lip syncing. I’ve got a dose of whatever’s needed. Music is endless and the word “favorite” when it comes to bands, artists, songs or genres is wide open. There is, however, one song in particular that stops my world and leaves me vulnerably open for 3 minutes and 47 seconds. This songs places my mind in a nostalgic truth and melts my world. To me, this song is the perfect relationship and in a way it’s life. I Miss You by Blink 182. From the music to the lyrics, it’s heart stopping. No matter what I’m doing, when this song comes on I press pause and take a dose of sanity. It’s my key.