Freak Show

Hello gorgeous world! How are you?

My apologies for cutting’ it close with todays blog.. writing and publishing it with 35 minutes to spare. I had a certain blog topic in mind for today, however, I’m going to save that for another time and switch things up here… so this afternoon while running errands, my Mom and I decided to stop for lunch. Burgers and fries at Five Guys. Yumm.

While sitting and chatting with my Mom, I noticed a family sitting at the table adjacent from ours who kept staring at me. Now this isn’t me being a narcissist or having a chip on my shoulder. 99% of the time I don’t even notice if anyone is starring at me, for one simple reason… I don’t care. I know I’m “different” or a “freak” if you will, but I know that and I am damn proud to display both of those labels. When I’m out and about, I’m too busy engaging with friends, family, enjoying where I’m at, what I’m doing and just enjoying life to place my attention towards all of you “rubber necks”. Go ahead and stare if you want, I know I’m frickin’ adorable. 😉

Today… today was different. See, these people made it extremely obvious that they were staring at me. It’s as though they were trying to make a point of it. Anytime a member of their party would get up to refill a drink, get a to-go bag or whatever else, they would slowly walk past my seat and stare at me, almost as if they where going to say something, but never did. Their facial expressions were that of disapproval or even disgust. This was the first time in 31 years that I got my food to-go when it came because I felt so self-conscious. Not since high school have I felt this disengaged in public. I hated that I allowed perfect strangers to ruin my lunch. I kept apologizing that I wanted to leave and my Mom being the awesome woman she is kept telling me not worry about it.

It’s amazing how perfect strangers can have such an involved impact. I have had experiences where people I have never met make a small kind gesture or comment and renew my faith that humans are not as bad as we think they are. There are still kind souls wandering this planet who smile, help others without expecting a reward and generate sunrays. Then there are those ignorant minds that darken the skies with their arrogance and remind me that humanitarian values are screwed up and judgmental nine ways to Sunday.

I truly believe that it takes more energy to place negative vibes towards someone than it does good vibes. I try very hard not to judge due to the fact that everyone has a bad day and everyone has a past, including myself. But and it’s a big but, there is no reason for purposely starring down someone with rude expressions lingering. Kindness people, I mean really, it doesn’t cost a single penny. So start spreading that shit around like it’s confetti. Keep your judgmental glares at home ’cause a’int nobody got time for that (yes I realize how improper my grammar is here, but sometimes proper needs to be locked in a box). No matter how many looks, glares and stares I get, it wont keep me locked up. I’m coming’ for you world, so get used to it! 😉

“How fuckin’ irritated are you, how much in your face am I?…”.  -Eminem

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