There are times in this insane life I live were I wake up with a chilly tingle trickling down my spine, the all too familiar sensation warning me …”its going to be one of those days”. My gloomy cloud can hover over my headached mind all it wants as long as I’m in the privacy of my decorated fortress. The second my body walks through the doorway the cloud fades inside and the actress within shifts outside. Eyes twinkling, cheeks rosy and smile on. Time to slap on that happy façade for all the world to see.
As sad as this may sound, I have reached a point in my life where I can fake it with the best of anyone. I am a genuine person and aim to live my life in the same direction, but when it comes to those gray clouded days I prefer to keep them in a personal status, not public. So yes, a smile is the one thing that I fake when absolutely necessary.
It sucks when one feels the need to paint on a smile before stepping outside the door, but the reasons as to why we do this are viable. Honestly, I fake a smile once in a blue moon so that my family and friends wont worry about me. My gloom and doom days are my burden to bare, no one elses. I know that conversing with and confiding in a friend would probably help, but I’ve got a stubborn streak in me that cause an effect of keeping it all inside and working it out for myself. I have a hard time asking for help with certain aspects, its a work in progress.
99% sunny and 1% stormy…. that 1% can be a doosey sometimes. My advice for those who know exactly what I’m talking about is to hang in there… better days are on the horizon.
Until next blog… Love Derra ❤